|— This is a transcribed copy of "Lad & Logic". —|
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[The episode starts off with Carol and K.O. heading to Logic Cuts]
Mr. Logic: [Humming] Ah. Greetings, K.O.. What can I do for you today?
K.O.: Hiya, Mr. Logic! I’m a little overdue for my haircut.
Mr. Logic: No problem. The usual, then? [Measures K.O.’s hair]
K.O.: Mm… You decide.
Mr. Logic: Affirmative. Tools—activated. [A plug falls off]
K.O.: Hmm? Wait a minute. [Gasps] You’re a robot!
Mr. Logic: Indeed.
K.O.: And you’re good? [Pops out a Mr. Logic Pow Card and gasps] Level two? All the robots I’ve met so far always attack me! Were you always a good guy?
Mr. Logic: Well, it’s actually a very funny story. [Flashbacks] A long time ago, when I was first created…
Lad Boxman: Ah! Awaken, my creation! Ooh-hoo-hoo! I, Lad Boxman, am in need of more logic to be an effective villain, So, you, Mr. Logic, my latest and greatest tool of destruction, will be perfect in helping me come up with the best evil plans.
Mr. Logic: Affirmative. That is my programming. What is your plan, Lad Boxman?
Lad Boxman: [Laughs] I’m so glad you asked. [Lectures his plan] First, I will bake a vast army of cakes filled with my signature, evil robot junkfish, deliver them to POINT, the top hero organization, and then kablooey! The junkfish will spring out and bite them! I’m gonna be the biggest villain of all time. What do you think?
Mr. Logic: According to my calculations, a bigger lab will be necessary for such a plan. Perhaps you should shift your focus onto your villain business model before tackling the biggest hero force in the region. [Writes a plan] As your strength lies in building robots, why not expand and start a manufacturing corporation to create monetary profit? With more income, we can invest more in the research and development of new ways to annihilate even more heroes. And that concludes my logical plan.
Lad Boxman: Wow! I didn’t think of that at all! You’re already so helpful, Mr. Logic. You’re gonna be my best friend. [Hugs Mr. Logic]
[Mr. Logic and Lad Boxman plans to construct Boxmore and the robots]
Mr. Logic: Lad Boxman, your junkfish army is the talk amongst all the villains. According to my calculations, we are about to make a huge profit. [Lad Boxman mumbles] Lad Boxman?
Lad Boxman: Who cares? I mean, that’s great news and all, but I couldn’t be more unhappy! Look across the street.
[Lad Boxman and Mr. Logic looks outside, to see Mr. Gar building the plaza]
[Lad Boxman mumbles]
Mr. Logic: Huh. A shopping plaza for heroes.
Lad Boxman: Yes. And I hate heroes.
Mr. Logic: You need not pay attention. More heroes means more villains who need evil robots, and more profit for us. The most logical thing to do is to simply ignore it.
Lad Boxman: I can’t simply ignore it. I can’t even stand knowing it’s there! I cannot— oh, it’s just— It’s— No!
Mr. Logic: Then your solution would be to destroy it.
Lad Boxman: Aha! I love that logic. [Chuckles] I got just the thing. [Pushes a button which launches junkfishes to the plaza]
Mr. Gar: Huh? [Grunting] [Crushes the junkfish] [Sighs]
Lad Boxman: [Gasps] Oh! I can’t believe my precious junkfish lost! What on Earth are those elbows made of? No matter! I’ll just have to build a bigger and meaner junkfish.
[Draws a plan]
Mr. Logic: That may not be the most logical choice, Boxman. Building larger and more capable junkfish isn’t a good use of time and resources at Boxmore’s current—
Lad Boxman: [Imitates buzzer] Wrong! Building better junkfish right this second means not seeing a goody-two-shoes hero plaza whenever I look out the window, which is better for us, believe you me.
Mr. Logic: I do not understand.
Lad Boxman: Well, maybe if you knew the world like I do, [Carrying his plans] you’d see what I mean.
Mr. Logic: Hmm, if I knew the world…
Lad Boxman: I’m gonna start working on a new junkfish prototype. Do not disturb me! Why don’t you go over there and see if you can learn anything we can use?
[Mr. Gar continues to build the plaza while Mr. Logic approaches him]
Mr. Logic: Excuse me. I wish to learn about you.
Mr. Gar: Huh?
Mr. Logic: Who are you, and what are you doing here?
Mr. Gar: [Sighs] [Speaking gibberish]
Mr. Logic: I, uh, cannot understand you.
Mr. Gar: [Sighs] [Lifts his beard up to talk properly] Hey there. Mr. Gar’s the name. I don’t talk so good with all this hair in the way.
Mr. Logic: I can assist you with that problem, if desired.
Mr. Gar: Huh?
Mr. Logic: [Releases hair cut supplies] I have the means and the capacity to maximize your communication potential.
Mr. Gar: I, uh… oh! You’re— You’re talking about giving me a haircut. That’s great! Cut away.
Mr. Logic: I require specific orders.
Mr. Gar: Huh? O-Oh! Uh, I don’t really care what it looks like. Create an identity for me.
Mr. Logic: Affirmative.
[Cuts Mr. Gar’s hair]
Mr. Gar: Holy mackerel! I love this! Thanks, robot guy.
Mr. Logic: Your communication hole is now working at 300% efficiency. [Swipes back to his regular hands] Now can you tell me what you are doing here?
Mr. Gar: Oh. I’m, uh, creating a business.
Mr. Logic: I see. And what do you plan on destroying with it?
Mr. Gar: “Destroy?” [Chuckles] I ain’t destroying anything with it.
Mr. Logic: Does not compute. What is the point of making something if you won’t use it to destroy something else?
Mr. Gar: Uh… I’ve destroyed enough. Anyway, I’m all about creating and providing things these days. That’s why I’m building this plaza.
Mr. Logic: Why would anyone choose creation over destruction?
Mr. Gar: You tell me. You created this hairstyle for me, and I love it. Makes me feel good. How does that make you feel?
Mr. Logic: Good! It makes me feel good.
Mr. Gar: Yep, yep, yep. I think you’re catching my drift. So long, friend. I gotta get back to work.
[Crinkly Wrinkly comes wearing a suit]
Crinkly Wrinkly: Hot socks! Whoopee! What a scoop! A shopping center for heroes? This is lookin’ hotsy-totsy. I’m gonna spend mucho mazuma here, baby. 23-skidoo!
K.O.: Wait! Crinkly Wrinkly was there, too?
Crinkly Wrinkly: [Laughing] I’m everywhere! [Laughs]
Mr. Logic: So, I realized I needed to tell my creator of my new feelings.
Lad Boxman: Mr. Logic. Where in blazes have you been?!
Mr. Logic: I was learning about the world.
Lad Boxman: “Learning about the—“ Oh, whatever! I don’t even wanna know. While you were “learning about the world,” I finished my modifications. [Laughs] Behold the Ultra Mega Junkfish! [Mr. Logic is shocked] Impressive, isn’t it? Now, let’s destroy the plaza. [Mr. Logic pushes the button to close the wall] What do you think you’re doing?!
Mr. Logic: Destroying the plaza is not a logical course of action. You see, it is logical to create, to provide. It is logical to be good! And even though you destroy so much, you created me, which means, deep down, you know this, too. It’s the only logical conclusion.
Lad Boxman: You fool! I only create so I can destroy more! Get out! Just—Just get out!
Mr. Logic: Goodbye, my friend.
Lad Boxman: “Friend”? “Friend”? I was never your friend! I created you! I am your lord! [Laughs manically] Now, Ultra Mega Junkfish, destroy the plaza.
[Mr. Gar eats a sandwich when he heard a rumbling noise]
Mr. Gar: Huh? [Groans]
[The Ultra Mega Junkfish ate him while Mr. Gar tries to escape. Mr. Logic throws scissors to destroy the junkfish which spits out Mr. Gar. Mr. Gar destroys even more with his elbow]
Mr. Gar: Nice assist, son. You sure saved my behind. Say, how’d you feel about opening up a barbershop?
Mr. Logic: A… barbershop? In your hero plaza?
Mr. Gar: Yeah. I mean, that’s what you do, right, haircut robot?
[Mr. Logic realizes his power for use]
Mr. Logic: Mr. Logic at your service.
[Mr. Logic and Mr. Gar laughs]
Mr. Logic: Ahh.
Lad Boxman: My Mega Junkfish destroyed, my villainous plans ruined, and Mr. Logic betrayer?! Oh! Who needs logic anyway? I need servants that will do my bidding without any possible chance of defying me.
[The machine reveals Shannon, Darrell, Ernesto, and Jethro in infant form]
Jethro: I am Jethro.
[Shannon, Darrell, and Jethro hug Lad Boxman while Ernesto watches]
Shannon and Ernesto: Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!
Lad Boxman: I will never regret this.
K.O.: Wait a minute. That story wasn’t funny at all!
Mr. Logic: Hmm… perhaps you are right. But if Boxman hadn’t destroyed our friendship, I wouldn’t be here in the plaza right now giving you this haircut, and that, to me, is quite humorous.
K.O.: That’s true. But the choice to be good was all you, and I think that makes you a true good guy.
Mr. Logic: Thank you, K.O.. [Gives K.O. a haircut] Your haircut is finished!
K.O.: [Gasps] It’s beautiful.
[Mr. Gar passes by]
Mr. Gar: Hey, nice hairdo.
K.O.: Thanks, Mr. Logic.
Mr. Logic: You’re welcome.
[The episode ends off]