|— This is a transcribed copy of "You're Everybody's Sidekick". —|
|Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.|
|Previous: "Let's Be Friends"||Next: "We Messed Up"|
K.O.: This is it, K.O. Your first day on the job at Gar's. [K.O. looks at the store with stars in his eyes] It's so beautiful! [He jumps around excitedly and takes a deep breath] Focus, K.O. Remember what you're here for. [Thoughts] Being helpful is the cornerstone of being a hero! [K.O. looks at his name tag that says "HI. MY NAME IS K.O. HELPER"] Let's get- [K.O. accidentally punches Joe Cuppa in the gut and hurriedly helps him up] Oh, Jeepers! I'm so sorry, mister! Uh, lemme help you! Helping! I'm helping!
[Inside the store, a huge crowd forms by Enid's lane, eager to get their items checked out. But Enid puts in a closed sign making everyone groan, as they leave. K.O. was the only one standing]
K.O.: Helper K.O., reporting for duty!
Enid: [Chuckles] At ease, soldier. Helper K.O.! Your first mission..[K.O.'s eyes widen] here at Gar's is to... clean up the store. [Enid points to the closet full of cleaning equipment, with a sign on top that says "8 WAYS OF CLEANSING"]
K.O.: Wow! The ancient tools of the cleaning the floor! [K.O. stares in awe]
Enid: Now go! And save the bodega from the forces of dirt or something. [K.O. dashes off and suits up in an armor of cleaning supplies]
K.O.: Dirt, today you breathe your last filthy breath! I swear on the honor of the bodega, I will vanquish you! [K.O. speeds through sweeping and cleaning through the aisle. Enid watches as Ginger appears at her desk.
Ginger: Dearie, can I pay for this in thousands of pennies? [Not wanting to answer the customer, Enid dissappears and replaces herself with a log]
K.O.: [Laughs mischievously] Enid, Enid, Enid! All done! Anything else I can help you with?
Enid: Hmm. Ah! Sort through this penny dish.. [pushes the penny dish to K.O.] and take out everything that isn't a penny. [K.O. looks inside the dish and sees a pen, a baseball, a throwing star, a teapot, and and onion with a face. He gasps and starts picking out things] Boy, you sure love helping people, don't ya buddy?
K.O.: Well, sure! It's my job. And isn't that how everyone feels?
Enid: [with a quizzical expression] Help people...? Nope, not for me. Too much work, too little payoff. I'm good with just helping myself. [K.O. looks down for a moment before standing up and inhales deeply]
K.O.: Enid, I am going to help you!!
Enid: [jumped by K.O.] Ah! Excuse me?
K.O.: [As he stands proudly] As an official helper of Gar's Bodega, I am going to help you see how great it is to help people! [It was silent between the two of them as Enid continued to stare at K.O.]
Enid: ... You'll never melt my icy heart.
K.O.: We'll just see about that! [K.O. runs off to help people] Gotta be helpful! Gotta be helpful! [panting]
Nick Army: My way is the only way!
Joff: That is just not possible for me.
Nick Army: I'm telling you Joff!
Joff: If I may make a suggestion.
Nick Army: We have to do it MY way!
Joff: I cannot. We have to do it MY way. [The two grunt at each other until K.O. intersects]
K.O.: Hey there, fellas. My name's K.O.! I work here! It sounds like you gentlemen have some sort of a problem. Is there anything I can do to HELP? [K.O. emphasizes that last word so Enid can hear and winks at her, she hisses at him]
Nick Army: Actually, yes. We're trying to decide something.
Joff: And we would like your opinion on the matter.
K.O.: Hm! [A spotlight shines on Joff]
Joff: I wish to do this thing... [Birds chirping and plants grow around him] nonviolently.
[Spotlights now on Nick]
Nick Army: And I wanna do it... [The scene explodes around him] ultra-violently!
K.O.: [nods] What, uh... is it you want to do?
Nick Army: Open this pickle jar. [Holds out a pickle jar and K.O. examines it]
K.O.: Hmm. Why don't you use both ways?
Nick and Joff: Both?!
K.O.: Yeah! [Gives the jar to Joff] Joff, if you go first, you can take the jar and open it, nonviolently, and take out some pickles [Joff does so and he smiles] Then, you put the top back on and hand it to Nick, who can then open it ... extra violently! [Nick puts dynamite around the jar and drops it, completely destroying it, along with his and Joff's clothes. But they were enjoying the pickles.]
Joff: Delicious. [K.O. stands proudly until he hears Gladys weeping in the distance]
Mr. Logic: Normally, my haircuts are calculated and mathematically perfect... But today, I'm 20% off. [Turns the chair to see Gladys with her hair completely out of place with one half shaved off. She shrieked and turned back]
K.O.: Hmm. Hey, I know how to help! You just start snipping and I'll take care of the rest.
[Mr. Logic begins cutting his customer's hair and K.O. gathers all the hair from the floor with a dustpan. Then he lifts Mr Logic and sweeps up the hair under him]
Mr. Logic: And we are finished. How's that. [Gladys' hair is perfectly cut- he measures it] It's... perfect!
Gladys: Thank you, K.O. I love the haircut.
K.O.: Oh, no problem. I'm just... [speaks through a megaphone] SO GLAD I COULD HELP! [Back at the bodega, Enid was pushing back a customer as she hears K.O. from the distance]
Enid: Um. [Back outside K.O. hears someone drumming in the distance]
A Real Magic Skeleton: [Distant] Stop drumming!
Brandon: I'm in the zone, man!
K.O.: Sounds like another person needs my help next door! [K.O. runs into the iFrame Outlet where he finds Brandon the Bear playing the drums]
A Real Magic Skeleton: Stop playing drums! I'm not able to function here! I'm being really ineffective!
Brandon: Just gotta be me!
A Real Magic Skeleton: I got so much to do man!
Brandon: Oh, freestyle.
A Real Magic Skeleton: Just quit it! Please stop for one second!
Brandon: No! Let's do this! [K.O. intersects]
K.O.: Hi! I'm the bodega's chief helping officer. Can I be any [cuts to Enid using her phone during her break] help?!
Brandon: This isn’t the bodega, man. [Starts drumming]
A Real Magic Skeleton: Stop drumming! Just stop it! It’s keeping me from getting my work done! I can’t even get this baseball inside of this display cube for our client! [Struggles to put a baseball in a display cube] Driving me nuts!
[Brandon drums in a self-contained cube while keeping the noise down]
A Real Magic Skeleton: Phew! Friend. [Gives a fist bump to K.O.] Seriously, thanks.
K.O.: No no, thank you for helping me help you! [Exits the iFrame Outlet and a background displays with K.O. in the middle and a sign saying “A helpful boy”] Man, I love helping people! I can’t understand why Enid doesn’t like it. Maybe when she hears about how rewarding my day was, she’ll change her mind!
K.O.: Hey, teens in the alley! How’s it hangin’? Helper K.O. is here to help you out!
Drupe, Red Action, and Gregg: Hmm. [Drupe blows a bubblegum]
Red Action: Help us? Why?
Red Action: Eyes down here! Ahem. [Fixes her hair] I know how you can help us, kid.
[Drupe, Red Action, and Gregg mischievous snickering]
Red Action: All right, just step back a little bit. A little bit more. A little bit more. Just a few more steps. [K.O. keeps stepping back until he ends up on the ground]
K.O.: Is this good?
Drupe: [Laughing] Yeah, it’s great. Just like that tasteless clown outfit of yours.
[Shows a close up of K.O. with white flowers and a yellow background]
K.O.: So what’s next?
Red Action: Just wait a few more seconds. And… [Ground rumbling] Whoo!
[Lava spews out to the ground while K.O. tries to avoid it, Drupe whips him and the gang laughing at him]
Red Action: Oh, man! I gotta get this on my social media. [Records K.O.]
Enid: [Back at the plaza, watching the video on Social Media] K.O.?
K.O.: That’s my name, don’t wear it out!
Enid: You okay? I saw your little heinie getting whipped by Red Action and her crew. They were laughing at you.
K.O.: Laughing at? They were laughing with me! I was helping them with their magma problem!
Enid: Hmm. [Touches K.O.’s burned butt]
Enid: K.O., that’s just not true.
K.O.: It… isn’t?
Enid: No, since it was above ground, it’s called lava, not magma. Also, they were totally laughing at you.
K.O.: They… were?
Enid: This is why I don’t help people. They never appreciate it.
K.O.: But why would they do something like that? And how did you know I was back there?
Enid: I saw her post a picture of you on social media. [Gives her phone to K.O. to see]
K.O.: You know her?
Enid: [Sweats] No. I mean, not really. I see her around and follow her online a bit. It’s like, y’know, whatever. [Laughs nervously] She’s just so wild sometimes. Look at what she posts!
[Displays Red Action’s Social Media, which K.O. gasps to]
K.O.: Ugh! Why would she do such a thing?
Enid: Oh! Well. She got this really bad haircut right before, [shows a post of her bad haircut] and I guess she was mad?
K.O.: [in his head] When bad things happen to Red Action, it seems like she turns around and takes it out on someone. Wait, that’s it! Those bad teens weren’t randomly messing with me! They’ve got… personal problems! Personal problems are something I can help with!! Enid, can you show me more of these people’s problems?
Enid: Yeah, okay. It’s pretty funny.
[K.O. goes back to the alley again with the gang laughing]
K.O.: Alleyway teens!
Drupe: Well, well, well. If it ain’t ol’ magma butt!
[Gregg squawks as he laughs]
K.O.: Actually, when it’s above ground, it’s called lava, not magma— Lava-butt would be the correct term. Anyways, I’m back to help you guys some more.
Drupe, Red Action, and Gregg: Pfffft! [laughs]
K.O.: [Points to Red Action] Red Action! You posted on social media two days ago. Worst hair cut ever, frowny-faced emotion, crying emoticon. You’re upset about your haircut!
Red Action: So you’re going to fix my haircut?
K.O.: Not me.
[Cuts to Logic Cuts where Mr. Logic gives a haircut to Red Action]
Mr. Logic: Haircut complete.
Red Action: Ooh! [Mr. Logic circles around his shop in a circle] Whoa, rad. I mean, it’s whatever. Buh!
K.O.: And now… [Points to Drupe] Drupe! [Drupe and Gregg falls]
K.O.: You just complain and echo the insults hurled by Red. But by reading your online profile, I noticed you have a fantastic fashion blog.
Drupe: Pbbt. Whatever. Nobody ever even reads it.
K.O.: That’s not true! I showed it to two people and they took your advice to heart. [Whistles]
[Nick Army and Joff crashed into Logic Cuts revealing the outfits made by Drupe]
Nick Army: Drupe, after an ultra-violent incident, our clothes blasted off and we needed some new threads. We used your blog as a guide, and now we’re ready for fall thanks to you.
Joff: You have my deepest gratitude.
[Gregg groans as Drupe and Red Action are satisfied for their solution of their personal problems]
K.O.: Gregg… You don’t even say anything, choosing instead to squawk along with your two friends. I learned this is because you have very low self-esteem. You’re afraid to stand up for yourself or even to stand out from the crowd. I also learned you have lots to be proud of. [Cuts to the iFrame Outlet] Like your Valedictorian certificate! Which I had framed for you to hang proudly on your wall!
Brandon: All… drummed…out. [Passes out]
A Real Magic Skeleton: Hey, thanks again, bud! [Drags Brandon]
[K.O. gives Gregg his framed Valedictorian certificate]
Red Action: Hey kid! All this… helping you’re doing… You’re weird! Too weird for us, in fact. Let’s jet!
[Red Action and Drupe exits. Then, Gregg squawks as he exits. K.O. enters back to the Bodega depressed]
Enid: Yo, K.O. How went personal problem mission?
K.O.: I don’t think it went well. I used all the internet info you gave me to help them, but it didn’t work.
Enid: Oh, no! I helped you help somebody! I told you to leave me out of this!
[Gregg enters the Bodega squawking, approaches to K.O. and Enid]
Gregg: Thank you. [Exits the Bodega]
K.O.: See? Helping people feels good, right?
Enid: All right, all right. I guess it feels a little good.
K.O.: Yay! I helped, Enid! [Laughs]
Enid: [Scratches K.O.’s hair] K.O., you’re a little nut!